Saturday, July 28, 2012
July 28, 2012
Greetings to all that read! It's been awhile since I have put words to this blog but I often think of you and the ways that your spirits are a part of me - even in Florida!
I could write so many stories of people I encounter that it seems hard to pick one or two. So today, I'll just share a couple that I encountered this week.
I met a man on Monday that has a PhD in Mathematics - whew - he was quite an intelligent man! But what I loved about him was his love for knowledge and being challenged in his thoughts. He grew up Catholic and still found support and comfort in the rituals and liturgy of the Catholic church. But he also loved the Jewish traditions of his long time female partner. They had lived together for 31 years, never marrying as they liked their own arrangement after both being married once. He had learned about her faith tradition and together they incorporated a hers and his faith that gave them joy.
One of the many things I love about being an interfaith chaplain is how I have the privilege of learning from so many people about what gives them hope, peace, and a sense of purpose.
The second visit was with a Catholic woman who loves her Catholic church. She had written formal prayers, rosaries, and statues everywhere. So on the 1st visit with her, I listened to her describe her faith. Later in the week, she wanted me to come back and so I did. She did not feel well and could not get up from the couch. So I read to her. Her comment was that she thought it would be perfect if she died while I (or someone) was reading to her. Just like a child. She isn't quite ready to die yet, but I hope that I can be reading to her when she does.
I hope you can tell that I love what I do.
And in these times of killings and violence and shouting all kinds of things that hurt each other in the name of religion and God, I hold on to the fact that my job is to love God and love others. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Friday, May 11, 2012
May 11, 2012
My oh my, it's been a long while. So much has happened in these few months. So I will update a little and I'll share a story or two as I know a few of you enjoy the stories of hospice.
I still love what I do - I think that I don't really need to say that anymore. Yes, I still love it - but I have been doing this work long enough that I don't need to affirm my love. It's a given...It's my final answer...it's my call in life to do this work.
I have spent time in the home of a patient over the past few weeks. She collected shells and had been collecting them for years. She started when she was a kid and had so many stories of picking up shells on the beach. I think about those shells and how her family will have a tangible memory each time they pick up a shell. I went to see her today, and found that she is imminent and will die soon. I took her a shell - it seemed fitting. I also recently went to be with a family when the mom died. Their Mom, collected angels. As some of you may remember, my mom collected angels too and had them pretty much everywhere! I have kept a few and with each one there is a story. This family was already talking about how to distribute the angels so this tangible memory will be passed to generations - from Florida to Maine to California.
On this Mother's Day weekend, I remember my mom.
As I say to so many people, there is something about mamma's. My mom was special to me and to many. She had the gift of hospitality and could throw parties and entertain in her home with enthusiasm and with love. My brothers and I fondly remember her words, "let's have a party" when it really meant, let's eat junk food. So I blame my mom for my love of junk food - oh, no, not blame - but remember her each time I am fighting a craving for something sweet.
My mom was strong and a survivor. She was a nurturer and caregiver. She enjoyed life and loved her church. She relied on her faith when life got hard. I have had my moments where I thought things were not that good because I was becoming my mother, but to be honest, I am proud to be like my mom. So I remember my mom on this weekend. I really miss her.
So call your mother. Or visit your mother. Remember your mother. Honor your mother. Be grateful for your mother. And mother can be the one that gave you birth, the one that raised you, the one that rescued you, the one that loved you, and any combination.
Update: We have had friends to visit this year and more to come next week. Visits help me from being so homesick! I love much about Florida and I miss much about Indiana. I am now officially addicted to Words with Friends but have given up, Spider Solitaire. Does it really matter what I am addicted to? Connie and I made a new "rule" that we would try new restaurants when we go out as opposed to always going to our past favorites. I won't say I have new favorites but it's been a good adventure. I was a visitor some at the United Methodist Church General Conference in Tampa. The "church" has two slogans/tag lines, Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors and Making Disciples of Jesus Christ for the Transformation of the World. In my own opinion, I think it fell short on both. And of course, in the same convention center, Tampa will be hosting the Republican Convention. If anyone wonders, I won't be going.
Be well, friends.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
January 18
Greetings to all that read! As usual, it has been awhile but glad to meet you here today.
I have wanted to share a story with you of a special person named Rickie. I met her at the hospital many times where she would share her own story with me. She had been raised in the Methodist church and as many people do, left the church as a young adult. She was diagnosed with Hepatitis C and Cancer a couple of years ago and needed emotional and spiritual support and went searching. She found a group of pagans that supported her in her journey of illness. She kept sharing her story with me - and I did not know much about paganism, but I was able to listen. She had a friend who she called her soul mate and best friend. Rickie and Tom moved to Florida from Ohio just a couple of years ago to be near the beach! Almost immediately, Rickie was diagnosed and began a slow decline.
Two weeks ago, I was told that Rickie was at the hospital so I was going to go see her. I found out that she had been released so I called Tom to see if I could visit at their home. I don't usually follow-up like that, but I had a whisper in my ear that said, go. So I went. Rickie was terminally restless - first up, then down, then hallucinating. Tom was scared and frustrated and exhausted and when I got there, he began sobbing. It was too much for him but he had told Rickie that she could die at home. Tom had made a promise but did not know how difficult it would be. I immediately called a nurse as help was needed! Tom needed a break and asked if he could take a short walk to a store for cigarettes. Of course I said yes - although I was frightened to be there alone. Rickie had a large body and was very restless so I was afraid that she would fall. Together, Tom and I got her in bed so Tom left for his walk. I tried to not engage Rickie so she might rest until the nurse got there. 5 minutes earlier, Rickie was walking, talking, and drinking water and hallucinating. Tom left...and Rickie dropped the water and died.
I am convinced that Rickie knew that this was her chance to die without Tom there. Experience tells me that some people wait until everyone is there, some people wait until all are gone. Rickie did not want Tom there so physically, Rickie was not ready to die - but it was the only chance.
On January 28, we will be having a pagan service for Rickie at the beach - the place she loved. I have never experienced a pagan service - but for Rickie, I will do just that.
As I write here often, the blessing that I get at working at hospice is the reminder that every day is a gift. It is our tagline, but it is so true. So live life fully, work out your conflicts, say what is important, love big, and find what gives your life meaning - and then love that.
Blessings for your own journey through life.
I have wanted to share a story with you of a special person named Rickie. I met her at the hospital many times where she would share her own story with me. She had been raised in the Methodist church and as many people do, left the church as a young adult. She was diagnosed with Hepatitis C and Cancer a couple of years ago and needed emotional and spiritual support and went searching. She found a group of pagans that supported her in her journey of illness. She kept sharing her story with me - and I did not know much about paganism, but I was able to listen. She had a friend who she called her soul mate and best friend. Rickie and Tom moved to Florida from Ohio just a couple of years ago to be near the beach! Almost immediately, Rickie was diagnosed and began a slow decline.
Two weeks ago, I was told that Rickie was at the hospital so I was going to go see her. I found out that she had been released so I called Tom to see if I could visit at their home. I don't usually follow-up like that, but I had a whisper in my ear that said, go. So I went. Rickie was terminally restless - first up, then down, then hallucinating. Tom was scared and frustrated and exhausted and when I got there, he began sobbing. It was too much for him but he had told Rickie that she could die at home. Tom had made a promise but did not know how difficult it would be. I immediately called a nurse as help was needed! Tom needed a break and asked if he could take a short walk to a store for cigarettes. Of course I said yes - although I was frightened to be there alone. Rickie had a large body and was very restless so I was afraid that she would fall. Together, Tom and I got her in bed so Tom left for his walk. I tried to not engage Rickie so she might rest until the nurse got there. 5 minutes earlier, Rickie was walking, talking, and drinking water and hallucinating. Tom left...and Rickie dropped the water and died.
I am convinced that Rickie knew that this was her chance to die without Tom there. Experience tells me that some people wait until everyone is there, some people wait until all are gone. Rickie did not want Tom there so physically, Rickie was not ready to die - but it was the only chance.
On January 28, we will be having a pagan service for Rickie at the beach - the place she loved. I have never experienced a pagan service - but for Rickie, I will do just that.
As I write here often, the blessing that I get at working at hospice is the reminder that every day is a gift. It is our tagline, but it is so true. So live life fully, work out your conflicts, say what is important, love big, and find what gives your life meaning - and then love that.
Blessings for your own journey through life.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving. It has been a long while since I have posted here - I could try to make some excuses, but that seems futile so let me just share a little of the past few months.
There are always stories to share from my hospice work. I think about someone that I visited in the hospital several weeks ago. This elderly man did not have any family in the area, and the hospital had been in contact with a nephew who lives in another state. He had not even seen or heard from his uncle for years, yet he was the only living relative. The uncle was barely verbal and not very responsive. The nurse told me that she believed that he was saying a prayer when she went to check on him.
I am always mindful and cautious of prayers that I might say at a bedside when I don't know the beliefs or the wishes of the patient. But, this time, I felt a strong desire to share with him. So I talked a little, and then I prayed for him. When I finished, he started to make noise like he was saying words. I waited, and waited. When he seemed to be done, not knowing at all what he said, I simply said, God, hear our prayers. And very clearly, he repeated, God, hear our prayers. So the next day, I took my IPOD and speaker with me when I visited. I played a couple of Christian old-time hymns and then I played, The Lord's prayer. As it played, he was saying every word. God heard his prayers...and I found out later, he died a few hours later.
The second story - I walked into the building today with a gentleman who looked very tired. I started a conversation and heard him say, "it's not a good day, my wife is dying." I was so struck by that - I have said that I didn't have a good day when I had a cold, it was raining outside, waited for the cable guy too long, or the service at a restaurant was slow.
Friday is National Day of Listening. It was started by StoryCorps in 2008. Each year, on the day after Thanksgiving, StoryCorps asks all Americans to take an hour to record an interview with a loved one. It's one of the least expensive, but most meaningful, gifts you can give your loved ones this holiday season! This year, the emphasis is on teachers, but it can be done for any loved one. You can find out more information at nationaldayoflistening.org
The 2011 National Day of Listening takes place on Friday, November 25, 2011. Instead of getting lost in Black Friday's long shopping lines, get lost in a conversation with a loved one!
I think of the gift it would be if I had a recording from my mom, dad, and so many others. Working with hospice, I am acutely aware of the importance of sharing what gives your life meaning with those you love and those that love you.
A brief update of life in general: I was in Indiana in October for my niece, Jennifer's wedding. It was an outdoor wedding on a beautiful but very cold autumn day. The leaves had not changed much, but I loved the cool temperatures. Connie and I went back to Indiana in early November so I got a good taste of fall in the Midwest.
I continue to work on the weekends and make a lot of hospital visits, home and nursing home visits, and take calls when patients are dying. I have been working at the inpatient unit - my heart is there and I love being able to spend time there.
We have moved into the modern age and now have a DVR - so I have been finding things at all hours of the night and day to record. And I love the Fast Forward button...when I can remember to use it. I am still a Starbucks junkie and read all that I can. Life is good - I still have moments of missing the old and familiar life- and I still feel very blessed by the work that I do.
I am thankful for family, friends, warm beds, hot showers, food, shelter, employment, memories, email, sunsets, music, faith, books, freedom, hope, love, and a non-fat, pumpkin spice, extra-hot chai!
Happy Thanksgiving. Be thankful and share it!
There are always stories to share from my hospice work. I think about someone that I visited in the hospital several weeks ago. This elderly man did not have any family in the area, and the hospital had been in contact with a nephew who lives in another state. He had not even seen or heard from his uncle for years, yet he was the only living relative. The uncle was barely verbal and not very responsive. The nurse told me that she believed that he was saying a prayer when she went to check on him.
I am always mindful and cautious of prayers that I might say at a bedside when I don't know the beliefs or the wishes of the patient. But, this time, I felt a strong desire to share with him. So I talked a little, and then I prayed for him. When I finished, he started to make noise like he was saying words. I waited, and waited. When he seemed to be done, not knowing at all what he said, I simply said, God, hear our prayers. And very clearly, he repeated, God, hear our prayers. So the next day, I took my IPOD and speaker with me when I visited. I played a couple of Christian old-time hymns and then I played, The Lord's prayer. As it played, he was saying every word. God heard his prayers...and I found out later, he died a few hours later.
The second story - I walked into the building today with a gentleman who looked very tired. I started a conversation and heard him say, "it's not a good day, my wife is dying." I was so struck by that - I have said that I didn't have a good day when I had a cold, it was raining outside, waited for the cable guy too long, or the service at a restaurant was slow.
Friday is National Day of Listening. It was started by StoryCorps in 2008. Each year, on the day after Thanksgiving, StoryCorps asks all Americans to take an hour to record an interview with a loved one. It's one of the least expensive, but most meaningful, gifts you can give your loved ones this holiday season! This year, the emphasis is on teachers, but it can be done for any loved one. You can find out more information at nationaldayoflistening.org
The 2011 National Day of Listening takes place on Friday, November 25, 2011. Instead of getting lost in Black Friday's long shopping lines, get lost in a conversation with a loved one!
I think of the gift it would be if I had a recording from my mom, dad, and so many others. Working with hospice, I am acutely aware of the importance of sharing what gives your life meaning with those you love and those that love you.
A brief update of life in general: I was in Indiana in October for my niece, Jennifer's wedding. It was an outdoor wedding on a beautiful but very cold autumn day. The leaves had not changed much, but I loved the cool temperatures. Connie and I went back to Indiana in early November so I got a good taste of fall in the Midwest.
I continue to work on the weekends and make a lot of hospital visits, home and nursing home visits, and take calls when patients are dying. I have been working at the inpatient unit - my heart is there and I love being able to spend time there.
We have moved into the modern age and now have a DVR - so I have been finding things at all hours of the night and day to record. And I love the Fast Forward button...when I can remember to use it. I am still a Starbucks junkie and read all that I can. Life is good - I still have moments of missing the old and familiar life- and I still feel very blessed by the work that I do.
I am thankful for family, friends, warm beds, hot showers, food, shelter, employment, memories, email, sunsets, music, faith, books, freedom, hope, love, and a non-fat, pumpkin spice, extra-hot chai!
Happy Thanksgiving. Be thankful and share it!
Monday, August 29, 2011
9/11
As I have driven around Pinellas County seeing hospice patients today, I continue to listen to NPR-national radio. I am joined with many...to remember 9/11/2001. And the question that I continue to hear and to get - where were you?
I was in Salt Lake City at a conference. I heard the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing patriotic songs in a concert that night and felt the horror in a hotel, so many miles from home. If I had to choose a place to get delayed, it would not be Salt Lake City, Utah...but...I was one among many all over the world that were trying to comprehend and to find a way to get home! I remember so vividly the flight to Cincinnati OH and when we landed, people clapped...clapped with vigor. Cincy was as close as we could get that day so 2 dear and committed people came from Fort Wayne IN to pick us up.
This blog is a place that I try to write about the journey of my life and the way hospice work is life-giving to me. I don't want it to be a place to talk politics or world events. But today, I remember, with all of you the way our lives changed 10 years ago. I hope that I do not take the small things for granted as much, that I live a life that is rich and full, and that I will do whatever I can to bring peace and love to my corner of the world.
Mattie Stepanek had important words to say on 9/11/2001 when he was only 11 years old and I want to write them here today.
We need to stop.
Just stop.
Stop for a moment.
Before anybody
Says or does anything
That may hurt anyone else.
We need to be silent.
Just silent.
Silent for a moment.
Before we forever lose
The blessing of songs
that grow in our hearts.
We need to notice
Just notice.
Notice for a moment
Before the future slips away
Into ashes and dust of humility.
Stop, be silent, and notice.
In so many ways, we are the same.
Our differences are unique treasures.
We have, we are, a mosaic of gifts.
To nurture, to offer, to accept.
We need to be.
Just be.
Be for a moment.
Kind and gentle, innocent and trusting.
Like children and lambs,
never judging or vengeful.
And now, let us pray,
Differently, yet together.
Before there is not earth, no life,
no chance for peace.
I was in Salt Lake City at a conference. I heard the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing patriotic songs in a concert that night and felt the horror in a hotel, so many miles from home. If I had to choose a place to get delayed, it would not be Salt Lake City, Utah...but...I was one among many all over the world that were trying to comprehend and to find a way to get home! I remember so vividly the flight to Cincinnati OH and when we landed, people clapped...clapped with vigor. Cincy was as close as we could get that day so 2 dear and committed people came from Fort Wayne IN to pick us up.
This blog is a place that I try to write about the journey of my life and the way hospice work is life-giving to me. I don't want it to be a place to talk politics or world events. But today, I remember, with all of you the way our lives changed 10 years ago. I hope that I do not take the small things for granted as much, that I live a life that is rich and full, and that I will do whatever I can to bring peace and love to my corner of the world.
Mattie Stepanek had important words to say on 9/11/2001 when he was only 11 years old and I want to write them here today.
We need to stop.
Just stop.
Stop for a moment.
Before anybody
Says or does anything
That may hurt anyone else.
We need to be silent.
Just silent.
Silent for a moment.
Before we forever lose
The blessing of songs
that grow in our hearts.
We need to notice
Just notice.
Notice for a moment
Before the future slips away
Into ashes and dust of humility.
Stop, be silent, and notice.
In so many ways, we are the same.
Our differences are unique treasures.
We have, we are, a mosaic of gifts.
To nurture, to offer, to accept.
We need to be.
Just be.
Be for a moment.
Kind and gentle, innocent and trusting.
Like children and lambs,
never judging or vengeful.
And now, let us pray,
Differently, yet together.
Before there is not earth, no life,
no chance for peace.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
August 19
Greetings to all!
I am always surprised that is has been so long since my last post - time flies. I was reminded today that it is time for an update. :)
The residency program came to a close last Friday. It was bittersweet moment as I have loved so much of what I have done and yet, the journey has been intense. I love the clinical work and I feel very blessed to work with some of the very best medical staff. Obviously, there is great importance for the medical staff yet they are gracious and know the importance of spiritual health. I always felt included in the care of all of our patients.
It was most interesting that I feel like I had bookends of deaths that started the year and one that ended the year. When I first arrived, I had a patient that was 25 years old and he touched my heart from the very start. When I would ask him how he was, he always said - even in the final days, fantastic! And the very cool thing was, he meant it. That was my first death. One of my last deaths will mark the end for me. A patient was 94, his spouse was also a patient and 96 years old. They had been married 72 years. As he died, her heart broke. The only thing that I had to say was that there hearts had been connected for 72 years and they would continue to be connected as they parted. Whew - Those two deaths will stay with me forever.
As time goes on, I will continue to do chaplain work in Florida. I will travel around the county and visit in homes, nursing homes, and hospitals so the work will be a little different but I am sure just as rewarding. The downside of it is that I will work on the weekends. Working every weekend wasn't my plan, but for now, that is what is available. I will work during the week as needed.
The days are hot here with rain that comes randomly. I am planning a trip back to IN in October for my niece's wedding so I am hopeful that the leaves will be colorful as that is my favorite time of year. A new life in Florida has been exciting, challenging, lonely at times, fulfilling, life-giving, draining, difficult, fun, an answer to a calling, a question to my comfort, and just plain hard sometimes. For now, I plan to stay...winter is coming so it is really nice here in the winter - who's coming to visit?
A blessing for you - May you have food in the bowl, to feed what is basic, and nourishment in the heart, to feed hungers more wild. (Jan Richardson)
I am always surprised that is has been so long since my last post - time flies. I was reminded today that it is time for an update. :)
The residency program came to a close last Friday. It was bittersweet moment as I have loved so much of what I have done and yet, the journey has been intense. I love the clinical work and I feel very blessed to work with some of the very best medical staff. Obviously, there is great importance for the medical staff yet they are gracious and know the importance of spiritual health. I always felt included in the care of all of our patients.
It was most interesting that I feel like I had bookends of deaths that started the year and one that ended the year. When I first arrived, I had a patient that was 25 years old and he touched my heart from the very start. When I would ask him how he was, he always said - even in the final days, fantastic! And the very cool thing was, he meant it. That was my first death. One of my last deaths will mark the end for me. A patient was 94, his spouse was also a patient and 96 years old. They had been married 72 years. As he died, her heart broke. The only thing that I had to say was that there hearts had been connected for 72 years and they would continue to be connected as they parted. Whew - Those two deaths will stay with me forever.
As time goes on, I will continue to do chaplain work in Florida. I will travel around the county and visit in homes, nursing homes, and hospitals so the work will be a little different but I am sure just as rewarding. The downside of it is that I will work on the weekends. Working every weekend wasn't my plan, but for now, that is what is available. I will work during the week as needed.
The days are hot here with rain that comes randomly. I am planning a trip back to IN in October for my niece's wedding so I am hopeful that the leaves will be colorful as that is my favorite time of year. A new life in Florida has been exciting, challenging, lonely at times, fulfilling, life-giving, draining, difficult, fun, an answer to a calling, a question to my comfort, and just plain hard sometimes. For now, I plan to stay...winter is coming so it is really nice here in the winter - who's coming to visit?
A blessing for you - May you have food in the bowl, to feed what is basic, and nourishment in the heart, to feed hungers more wild. (Jan Richardson)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
June 30, 2011
Can anyone believe that it is soon to be July 1? I moved to Florida in July, 2010 so one year later, here I am. Sallyanna, this post is for you!
If you read here much, you know that I love what I do. Today, reminded me of why I love it so much. I spent time with a family early in the day. It was a family that I met when mom came to us 12 days ago. She had stopped dialysis and was ready to die. She was 80+ years old and was very tired of pain and prodding and chemo and dialysis and wanted to just let go of the fight. I can't imagine really what it is like to have to one day just say, no more. But she had done that with grace.
I remember when she came in that she had the sweetest smile and a gentle spirit. She claimed that she came to die. She wanted no fanfare. Her sons were with her - one from Indiana. They were faithful in being there each day, laughing and crying, telling stories and beginning to grieve the anticipated loss. I spent time with them on a few occasions. Today, was the day she was going to die. And she did. She waited until one son left to take another son to the airport to fly back to Indiana. Her oldest son was in the room, with 2 daughter-in-laws. She knew that her oldest son could be there with strength and she knew the other sons would fall apart. So with the right people in the room and the right people out of the room, her breathing slowed, she opened her eyes, she had tears come down her cheeks, and then she smiled so much you could see her teeth, and then she died.
The family that was present witnessed a beautiful scene that they will not forget - a scene that brought them great comfort. We opened the window and let her spirit soar. Amazing stuff.
The second thing that happened today was - I received some poetry from a woman that I had spent alot of time with while a loved one died. It was a situation that felt foreign to me. The woman was married to someone else, and she also loved and lived with this patient. 2 men, 1 woman. Not as three really, but a woman being shared by two men. Do I understand that? No. But I listened to her story and to the pain of her life living out this relationship and the difficulty in being a widow with a husband. (Think about that!) The poetry that she shared with me was beautiful and rich and contemplative and necessary and important and brought some healing to her. I was privileged that she shared it with me.
The beauty of being a chaplain is I get to listen to all faith traditions, I get to listen to atheists, and polygamists, and broken souls. I get to walk with amazing people and stories and help them find forgiveness and meaning for their life. I see pain and joy every day and it is sacred space and holy ground.
One of my favorite sayings - I've heard it credited to a few different people - I don't know who said it, it wasn't me. "Be kind, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle." I think that is a good guide.
If you read here much, you know that I love what I do. Today, reminded me of why I love it so much. I spent time with a family early in the day. It was a family that I met when mom came to us 12 days ago. She had stopped dialysis and was ready to die. She was 80+ years old and was very tired of pain and prodding and chemo and dialysis and wanted to just let go of the fight. I can't imagine really what it is like to have to one day just say, no more. But she had done that with grace.
I remember when she came in that she had the sweetest smile and a gentle spirit. She claimed that she came to die. She wanted no fanfare. Her sons were with her - one from Indiana. They were faithful in being there each day, laughing and crying, telling stories and beginning to grieve the anticipated loss. I spent time with them on a few occasions. Today, was the day she was going to die. And she did. She waited until one son left to take another son to the airport to fly back to Indiana. Her oldest son was in the room, with 2 daughter-in-laws. She knew that her oldest son could be there with strength and she knew the other sons would fall apart. So with the right people in the room and the right people out of the room, her breathing slowed, she opened her eyes, she had tears come down her cheeks, and then she smiled so much you could see her teeth, and then she died.
The family that was present witnessed a beautiful scene that they will not forget - a scene that brought them great comfort. We opened the window and let her spirit soar. Amazing stuff.
The second thing that happened today was - I received some poetry from a woman that I had spent alot of time with while a loved one died. It was a situation that felt foreign to me. The woman was married to someone else, and she also loved and lived with this patient. 2 men, 1 woman. Not as three really, but a woman being shared by two men. Do I understand that? No. But I listened to her story and to the pain of her life living out this relationship and the difficulty in being a widow with a husband. (Think about that!) The poetry that she shared with me was beautiful and rich and contemplative and necessary and important and brought some healing to her. I was privileged that she shared it with me.
The beauty of being a chaplain is I get to listen to all faith traditions, I get to listen to atheists, and polygamists, and broken souls. I get to walk with amazing people and stories and help them find forgiveness and meaning for their life. I see pain and joy every day and it is sacred space and holy ground.
One of my favorite sayings - I've heard it credited to a few different people - I don't know who said it, it wasn't me. "Be kind, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle." I think that is a good guide.
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