I was asked today if I felt like I had moved or if I was just on vacation. And my answer would be, a little of both.
I certainly did not know everyone in Fort Wayne but I knew my way around and knew the layouts of my favorite places. I knew the timing of the stoplights through downtown Fort Wayne and could easily call someone to go to dinner. So here, it feels different and I feel much like a stranger. Everywhere I go, I have to stop and think if I need to go left or right, north or south, if it's beyond the Publix or before the Starbucks. We take that kind of stuff for granted...until you start over.
I don't feel like I am on vacation because during vacation, you don't want to waste a minute. There are shops to find, restaurants to try, beaches to walk, shells to find, or activities to do. Well, now I am wasting time. It is hot, I'm tired of the unpacking, always seem to be lost or checking the GPS. So sometimes, it is easier to just waste time. Vacation is over.
I start orientation on August 9 and then my actual chaplain work on August 16, so until then, I can waste a little time like the locals do. I guess now I am a local.
I love Ann Lamott's writing and I am reading her book, Plan B with a friend from my previous church. We read, we write comments, and it is a fun way to share a book with a friend. Lamott is certainly not a traditional Christian writer but she has a lot of wisdom to share.
She wrote this book during the Bush administration, which she did not like and did not hide that fact. I wasn't a fan of GW either but her humor helped to put it in perspective. She made a statement on how to get through the mess (of Bush, and of life.) Right foot, left foot, right foot, breathe. Isn't that the message for all of us in so many situations? I think at times that has gotten me to FL for what I believe God has called me to do. There have been many times along the way that I have doubted that I heard God right. surely God wouldn't want me to really do this! I've been convinced much of the time that this is my passion but there are times now that I think I made a mistake! So left foot, right foot, left foot, breathe.
I love her statement - peace is joy at rest and joy is peace on its feet. I think right now I am at a place of peace is joy at rest. I need a little time to just "be". I feel peace in one sense but find that I am needing energy to go out in the world. I received strength from worship, relationships, work that gave meaning to my life, so without those anchors at this time, it is harder to find the strength.
I also liked the conversation in the book about the cactus blooming. "...Last week they were ugly...they don't bloom every year so you have to love them while they are here." Isn't that true of so many things?
This blog is not meant to be a place for book reviews but I love to read and try to read some edgy and thought-provoking stuff about God and about life. So, on occasion, you may see what I am reading.
Hope all that read this are enjoying the hot summer days. Blessings to you from Florida.